Synopsis for
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation"
The Theory of Everything (2008)

A woman dressed in tinfoil rants about photons and String Theory in the CSI lobby. She says the invasion is tonight.

Brass interrogates a man as Dr. Robbins laughs at the victim on his table: a deer in a dress killed by a crossbow.

The guy in interrogation bolts, knocking people down as he runs. Pepper Spray doesn't stop him. Brass tells the officers to "light him up." They Taser him. He bursts into flames.

The team doesn't have to travel far to investigate the crime scene.

Grissom notes the guy blew a .28 and that Pepper Spray sometimes doesn't stop super drunk people. Picking over crispy drunk guy, Doc Robbins notes his relationship with the deer was completely platonic.

Nick checks that the Taser was working properly. It registers normal.

Warrick checks out the guy's car. Lots of moonshine.

Grissom tries to duplicate the bursting into flames using ballistic gel dummies and as he prepares to fire the Taser at the dummies (you knew this was coming) Nick says, "Don't tase me, bro" to which Grissom replies, "Don't tempt me."

The dummies don't ignite.

Nick tells Archie about Evelyn on the security tape, the tinfoil woman who comes down to the PD to file a complaint about "them" every night. Brass isn't worried about their ability to find her again. "She's very shiny."

The team goes to investigate a tinfoiled body, Evelyn. The truck driver who hit her says a flash of light came out nowhere. They find a cracked butane lighter on her. They turn her over and find green fluid coming from the wound. It's blood.

Gil goes to the next scene. Another dead guy with green blood a few blocks away. They find three pairs of sunglasses on him and earplugs. Grissom says it's to help make it quiet when you sleep on the street.

Greg finds the weapon, a pipe.

Back at the lab, Hodges and Wendy theorize how blood can turn green. Hodges says sulfur. It turns into a nerd-off about Spock from Star Trek.

Hodges goes to tell Grissom the results, but he guesses: high levels of sulfur in both victims' blood. But he says there's nothing on tinfoil lady that could have contributed to Flaming Taser guy's death.

They review the tape and notice the officer who Pepper Sprayed the flamer wasn't using the department-issued Pepper Spray.

They redo the test to see if that'll combust. (Cameo alert! The guys from Mythbusters look on.) Nick fires the Taser on a dummy doused in the spray the officer says he bought to replace the department issue. The dummy ignites.

Wendy gives Greg the results on the pipe he found. She found two kinds of blood - both green.

They find that two victims also had a drug used for migraines in their systems.

Catherine is called to a crime scene where two couples in their late 60s lie dead in bed next to each other with numerous prescription bottles on their nightstand. Doc Robbins doesn't see any sign it was a double suicide.

The backyard is full of holes and dead squirrels.

Catherine and Warrick hear a noise, someone welding outdoors. A woman. She talks to Warrick. Her backyard is also full of squirrel holes.

Back in the lab, Doc Robbins conducts autopsies on the dead older couple. They both wore pacemakers. The woman's is still ticking. Robbins mentions he has one, too. The guy's also works.

Catherine connects the pacemaker to a computer and finds their heart rates both spiked at the same time.

Brass goes to arrest Dave Bohr, the guy whose fingerprints were on the lead pipe. When they arrive he's screaming, holding his head and has green blood coming from his nose.

He says he killed Wayne, the second victim, in self defense. He said Wayne just came at him. An officer tears covering off the window and Dave freaks out, oozing green blood and twitching. Brass and Greg look on.

Looking through Bohr's apartment later, Greg finds literature on migraines and the same prescription found in the other victims.

Greg calls Warrick, telling him he thinks their cases are connected. Wayne was buying pharmaceuticals from Dave, the guy who did pest removal for the dead couple. Dave had stuff to make radio waves to scare of squirrels, which could have interfered with pace makers.

Back in the lab, Robbins and Grissom bet over the greenness of Bohr's organs as they cut him open. They have fun with synonyms for the word green (seafoam, avocado).

They chop open his brain and find a huge tumor that would have given him pain like bad migraines and caused the cerebral hemorrhage Greg and Brass had front row seats for.

Catherine and Warrick try to make Bohr's radio thingy produce waves that could have tripped up pacemakers. They can't. They think maybe whatever killed the squirrels killed the couple, the Martins.

Hodges come in to lurk as Grissom cuts open a yard squirrel. They find cyanide in its stomach.

Catherine has Henry the eager lab tech run a tox screen on the Martins. High levels of cyanide.

Warrick goes back to talk to welder chick. She's upset. She just learned that her ex died last night. As she puts it he was blown up by a stun gun. Flaming Taser dude was her ex.

She uses potassium cyanide for her art, and also in her yard. It killed the Martin's cat. But she doesn't think she killed them.

Catherine and Hodges examine the Martins' house. They turn over their bed and Hodges smells the carpet. The carpet looks new. Catherine cuts it up. The old carpet is melted underneath. When it burned it would have given off gasses, including hydrogen cyanide.

Hodges climbs under the house. He finds an electrocuted squirrel that chewed through wiring which caused a short which smoldered into the floor and melted the rug, giving off poison gas.

The team discusses the amazing coincidences so you, the home viewer, can understand what the heck just happened. Flaming Tased Guy was just divorced from Welder Chick who was fighting squirrel wars with the Martins next door. The Martins had hired Dave Bohr, the exterminator whose drugs were turning folks blood green, including tin-foiled Evelyn, the last person to touch Flaming Tased Guy. Got all that?

Grissom finds one more connection. He thinks the $200 Evelyn had on her was for Wayne who was waiting with Dave Bohr and when she never showed up, Bohr killed Wayne.

Grissom talks about String Theory, which proposes that atomic particles are make of infinitesimal vibrating loops of energy, or strings. Each string vibrates at its own frequency and these notes make up everything in the universe. So the connections between our victims are not that extraordinary.