Dennis Finch:
All I need is your social security card and your mother's maiden name.
Elliot DiMauro:
Here. My mother's maiden name is DiMauro.
Dennis Finch:
Wait, her married name is DiMauro.
Elliot DiMauro:
I know... What? A lot of people marry their second cousins.
Dennis Finch:
Uh-huh. That would explain that freakish head of yours.
Nina Van Horn:
[
seeing "Nina Man Horn"] Will the me who is not a hallucination please raise her hand. Well, as long as there's one me here, I'm going home.
Nina Van Horn:
Let me be sure I got this straight: you're a grown man who spends all his free time and energy imitating women and prance around for the amusement of others?
Robert 'Nina Man Horn':
Uh-huh.
Nina Van Horn:
Yes! I am a gay icon!
Nina Van Horn:
I just came from the hairdresser. How does it look?
Dennis Finch:
I didn't know the Westminster Show was in town.
Nina Van Horn:
Little tip, never tell describe your hairdresser's new pants with the words "very fat".
Vicki Costa:
You know, I used to do hair. Maybe I could have a try at your hair.
Nina Van Horn:
Vicki, you were probably the best at Super Hair Cuts, but I wouldn't let you touch my hair.
Kevin Liotta:
I'll do it, if I get to keep the hair.
Nina Van Horn:
Vicki, you're the girl for me. And did I tell you that your pants make your ass look glorious?
Kevin Liotta:
Thanks. I've been jumping rope.
Nina Van Horn:
You're like the daughter with a penis I never had.
Vicki Costa:
You probably think I'm crazy.
Maya Gallo:
Not really. I have a secret fantasy that I was a federal agent. I even have a code name: Agent M. I'd be the first in the room, and I would be all, "Freeze, sucka! This is a raid!"
[
Nina runs out of her office and slides to a stop]
Nina Van Horn:
Don't you ever do that again!
Elliot DiMauro:
You dirty little blackmailer.
Dennis Finch:
Blackmailer is such a dirty word. I prefer The Devil.
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