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Jane:
Dora Winifred Read! Go upstairs to your room!
Arthur: I got fired again. Boy, the catering business is tough when you only know how to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
D.W.: Hey, you got the easy job. You think it's easy being an accountant when you can't count past 10?
Arthur: Are Mom and Dad feeling any better today?
D.W.: [Mom and Dad coughing violently is heard] That answer your question? Oh, by the way, I sent Kate to the orphanage.
Arthur: WHAT?
D.W.: We just couldn't take care of her, Arthur. She deserves to be in a place that can change her diapers.
[Arthur, and D.W. start running around the table. Baby Kate starts crying and Pal starts barking]
Dad: Alright, EVERYBODY FREEZE!
[David Read pushes Arthur and D.W. outside in their rain coats]
Dad: See you on Sunday.
Arthur: Dad I can't go to Grandma Thora's house.
D.W.: Grandma Thora is boring.
[David Read closes the door]
[Kate is crying]
Arthur: [sniffs] Uh oh.
D.W.: That's your job.
Arthur: Why is it my job? You've seen Mom change her just as many times as I have.
D.W.: But you're older.
Arthur: But you're closer to Kate's age. You probably remember how it's done.
[crying gets louder]
D.W.: Okay, we'll shoot for it.
[Kate is crying]
D.W.: Should we get Mom and Dad?
Arthur: I don't know. If they don't get their sleep, they may not get better and...
D.W.: I'll get the clothespins.
D.W.: Walla Walla? What's Walla Walla? Where's Walla Walla? Walla Walla?
Binky: I founded this club and now I'm de-founding it.
D.W.: [singing] The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the Brussels sprout.
D.W.: You Eggs Benedict Arnold!
Dad: How did my new shoes get in the dishwasher?
D.W.: Kate did it. I saw her.
Dad: D.W., go to your room and think about what you just told me. I'll be up to discuss it with you.
Nadine: He said "discuss". You know what that means.
D.W.: Yeah, I'm in trouble. I wonder what he'll say when he finds that slice of baloney in the CD player.
Nadine: I told you not to do that!
D.W.: [Baby Kate is being changed] P.U! It smells like a zoo in here.
[Opens the window]
Jane: D.W., close that. The baby will catch a draft.
D.W.: Ew! My doll smells like stinky diapers!
D.W.: [a building is demolished] Kate did it.
Jane: A demolition team did it, D.W.
Arthur: We're terrible parents!
Buster Baxter: [ties a shoe around Arthur's nose and mouth] This should protect you from those smelly diapers.
Arthur: I can't smell anything.
Buster Baxter: Great.
Arthur: But I can't breathe!
Arthur: D.W. how would you like to be my assistant? I'll give you 2 dollars.
D.W.: Arthur, you know I'd do anything for you. For money.
Dora Winifred: I'm worried about Dad.
Arthur: Why? He's not sick.
Dora Winifred: Yeah but he can't clean the whole house by himself. It takes Mom almost all day to clean the house and look:
[the clock says 3:30 PM]
Dora Winifred: It's already that time. What if Mom is sick for a couple of days? The house will just keep getting dirtier. Soon there'll be no clean dishes, the dust bunnies will be hopping around everywhere, we'll be living in a pig stew!
Arthur: Pig STY, D.W.
D.W.: [singing] Everybody thinks that my brother stinks like a piece of yellow cheese. But me, I say that he's okay as long as there's a breeze.
Binky: [tauntingly] Hey, Arthur, nice pants! But where's the flood!
Binky: [after Binky's parents call him pet names at school's open house] They're not my parents... they just look like them
Buster Baxter: ohhh... so the Barnes are aliens too! That explains SO MUCH!
D.W.: [seeing power go out all over the city] Daddy! The town is exploding and it's very pretty.
Emil Nigel Ratburn III: [after discovering Arthur's Dad bakes great cakes] Arthur, I just stopped by to give you this spring's reading list. Oh, are you having cake?
D.W.: It's hopeless. Were all gonna die in a heap!
Dad: Thank you for that vote of confidence, D.W.
Brian Littrell: [whispering in Francine's ear] Don't worry. I was nervous the first time too. Just look at the back of the auditorium and pay attention to your audience.
Buster Baxter: Here, take my lucky hat.
Alan: What's so lucky about it?
Buster Baxter: Once, when I was wearing this hat, everyone I knew gave me a present.
Alan: Umm, Buster, that was your birthday.
Buster Baxter: That might have had something to do with it.
Buster Baxter: You know, I think when the person writes Anonymous, their identity should be kept secret.
Buster Baxter: [because Buster beats the Brain at a school game, their personalities are switched. Buster, Arthur and Francine visit Brain at his house]
[pulling paper from fax machine]
Alan: It's time to face the fax.
Alan: [pulling out crying doll and glass of milk] No use crying over spilled milk!
Francine Alice Frensky: Stop him!
Buster Baxter: [Arthur and his family go to Crazy Bus Live. Arthur disguises himself with a fake trunk and a vaudeville-style hat. He wants his family to call him "Steve" during the show] Hey, Arthur, cool trunk.
D.W.: He wants to be called Steve.
Arthur: So you got stuck coming here with your little brother... wait, you don't have a little brother or sister.
Buster Baxter: That's right, *Steve*.
Arthur Timothy Read I: [Daredevils Slink and Toby bring Arthur and Buster to a giant comic store. Arthur reads "Peabrain and Nuthead", a spin on "Beavis and Butthead"]
[fake laughing]
Arthur Timothy Read I: Ha ha ha, that peanut sure cracks me up.
Toby: He's not a peanut, he's a pecan.
D.W.: [it's a very boring day at the Read house. Arthur and D.W. are drawing pictures] What did you draw?
Arthur Timothy Read I: A dog, and he's bored. What did you draw?
D.W.: A stick.
Arthur Timothy Read I: A stick?
D.W.: Yeah, a stick...
[shouts]
D.W.: - from the park you promised to take me to today!
D.W.: [Arthur is teaching D.W. the hand signals on a bike] What's this mean?
[makes a funny face and waves her tongue in various directions]
Arthur Timothy Read I: I dunno, what?
D.W.: [Mr. Sipple comes running to Arthur and D.W. only wearing a towel around his waist and carrying a cabbage] Hi, Mr. Sipple. What's this?
Mr. Sipple: What's that? You did this!
[mimics D.W.'s funny face]
Mr. Sipple: Where I come from, doing this while on a bike means "Bring me a cabbage, fast"!
[running off]
Mr. Sipple: I left the tub running, bye!
Binky: [reciting his poem at the poetry reading] People think I can't write a poem, but they are so wrong, I can write a poem. I wrote this one, I wrote this poem, and I gave it the title Binky's poem. So shut up! The end!
Mary Alice Crosswire: That's no a poem. He rhymed "poem" with "poem" four times!
Fern Walters: I liked it! Yay Binky!
Arthur: [DW is running to get into Arthur's tent but Arthur stops her] No, you can't come in.
D.W.: Why?
Arthur: Because
D.W.: Because why?
Arthur: Because because.
D.W.: Because because why?
Arthur: Because because because.
D.W.: Because because because WHY?
Arthur: Because... because... uh... because
[Brain whispers in his ear]
Arthur: Because you'd get scared of the dark!
Emil Nigel Ratburn III: [reading out of a book] And then they came upon a gryffon.
[voice echos]
Emil Nigel Ratburn III: A gryffon, a gryffon, a gryffon...
Alan: She's headed into the next town!
Francine Alice Frensky: [Francine's head pops off in a dream] My, what a lovely day!
Little Boy: [her head lands in his lawn] Wooooow! Mommy! Some kid's head fell in our yard!
Francine Alice Frensky: What a beautiful lawn!
Buster Baxter: To get the kind of attention Muffy gets, I'd have to wear GIRLS clothes. I don't want THAT much attention!
D.W.: [after staying up for the first time on New Years Eve] What a gyp! I'm going to bed.
Arthur: [D.W. is bothering him] D.W., isn't there some dancing vegetable on TV?
Buster Baxter: [reading a book] The sky is blue. The ocean is blue.
[stops, throws book down]
Buster Baxter: I can't do it!
Voice on Commercial: Tina Tina Tiny Tina Tina Tina Tiny Tina Tiny the Talking Tabby.
D.W.: It's not real, it's just an Irving legend.
Vecita: What's that?
D.W.: It's a made up story your Uncle Irving tells you.
Vecita: But I don't have an Uncle Irving.
D.W.: There IS no Uncle Irving, Vecita! He's an Irving legend, too!
Alan: [reading a newspaper article] Hey, they got my name wrong! They called me "The Bran!"
[instead of The Brain, his nickname]
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Arthur: I got fired again. Boy, the catering business is tough when you only know how to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
D.W.: Hey, you got the easy job. You think it's easy being an accountant when you can't count past 10?
Arthur: Are Mom and Dad feeling any better today?
D.W.: [Mom and Dad coughing violently is heard] That answer your question? Oh, by the way, I sent Kate to the orphanage.
Arthur: WHAT?
D.W.: We just couldn't take care of her, Arthur. She deserves to be in a place that can change her diapers.
[Arthur, and D.W. start running around the table. Baby Kate starts crying and Pal starts barking]
Dad: Alright, EVERYBODY FREEZE!
[David Read pushes Arthur and D.W. outside in their rain coats]
Dad: See you on Sunday.
Arthur: Dad I can't go to Grandma Thora's house.
D.W.: Grandma Thora is boring.
[David Read closes the door]
[Kate is crying]
Arthur: [sniffs] Uh oh.
D.W.: That's your job.
Arthur: Why is it my job? You've seen Mom change her just as many times as I have.
D.W.: But you're older.
Arthur: But you're closer to Kate's age. You probably remember how it's done.
[crying gets louder]
D.W.: Okay, we'll shoot for it.
[Kate is crying]
D.W.: Should we get Mom and Dad?
Arthur: I don't know. If they don't get their sleep, they may not get better and...
D.W.: I'll get the clothespins.
D.W.: Walla Walla? What's Walla Walla? Where's Walla Walla? Walla Walla?
Binky: I founded this club and now I'm de-founding it.
D.W.: [singing] The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the Brussels sprout.
D.W.: You Eggs Benedict Arnold!
Dad: How did my new shoes get in the dishwasher?
D.W.: Kate did it. I saw her.
Dad: D.W., go to your room and think about what you just told me. I'll be up to discuss it with you.
Nadine: He said "discuss". You know what that means.
D.W.: Yeah, I'm in trouble. I wonder what he'll say when he finds that slice of baloney in the CD player.
Nadine: I told you not to do that!
D.W.: [Baby Kate is being changed] P.U! It smells like a zoo in here.
[Opens the window]
Jane: D.W., close that. The baby will catch a draft.
D.W.: Ew! My doll smells like stinky diapers!
D.W.: [a building is demolished] Kate did it.
Jane: A demolition team did it, D.W.
Arthur: We're terrible parents!
Buster Baxter: [ties a shoe around Arthur's nose and mouth] This should protect you from those smelly diapers.
Arthur: I can't smell anything.
Buster Baxter: Great.
Arthur: But I can't breathe!
Arthur: D.W. how would you like to be my assistant? I'll give you 2 dollars.
D.W.: Arthur, you know I'd do anything for you. For money.
Dora Winifred: I'm worried about Dad.
Arthur: Why? He's not sick.
Dora Winifred: Yeah but he can't clean the whole house by himself. It takes Mom almost all day to clean the house and look:
[the clock says 3:30 PM]
Dora Winifred: It's already that time. What if Mom is sick for a couple of days? The house will just keep getting dirtier. Soon there'll be no clean dishes, the dust bunnies will be hopping around everywhere, we'll be living in a pig stew!
Arthur: Pig STY, D.W.
D.W.: [singing] Everybody thinks that my brother stinks like a piece of yellow cheese. But me, I say that he's okay as long as there's a breeze.
Binky: [tauntingly] Hey, Arthur, nice pants! But where's the flood!
Binky: [after Binky's parents call him pet names at school's open house] They're not my parents... they just look like them
Buster Baxter: ohhh... so the Barnes are aliens too! That explains SO MUCH!
D.W.: [seeing power go out all over the city] Daddy! The town is exploding and it's very pretty.
Emil Nigel Ratburn III: [after discovering Arthur's Dad bakes great cakes] Arthur, I just stopped by to give you this spring's reading list. Oh, are you having cake?
D.W.: It's hopeless. Were all gonna die in a heap!
Dad: Thank you for that vote of confidence, D.W.
Brian Littrell: [whispering in Francine's ear] Don't worry. I was nervous the first time too. Just look at the back of the auditorium and pay attention to your audience.
Buster Baxter: Here, take my lucky hat.
Alan: What's so lucky about it?
Buster Baxter: Once, when I was wearing this hat, everyone I knew gave me a present.
Alan: Umm, Buster, that was your birthday.
Buster Baxter: That might have had something to do with it.
Buster Baxter: You know, I think when the person writes Anonymous, their identity should be kept secret.
Buster Baxter: [because Buster beats the Brain at a school game, their personalities are switched. Buster, Arthur and Francine visit Brain at his house]
[pulling paper from fax machine]
Alan: It's time to face the fax.
Alan: [pulling out crying doll and glass of milk] No use crying over spilled milk!
Francine Alice Frensky: Stop him!
Buster Baxter: [Arthur and his family go to Crazy Bus Live. Arthur disguises himself with a fake trunk and a vaudeville-style hat. He wants his family to call him "Steve" during the show] Hey, Arthur, cool trunk.
D.W.: He wants to be called Steve.
Arthur: So you got stuck coming here with your little brother... wait, you don't have a little brother or sister.
Buster Baxter: That's right, *Steve*.
Arthur Timothy Read I: [Daredevils Slink and Toby bring Arthur and Buster to a giant comic store. Arthur reads "Peabrain and Nuthead", a spin on "Beavis and Butthead"]
[fake laughing]
Arthur Timothy Read I: Ha ha ha, that peanut sure cracks me up.
Toby: He's not a peanut, he's a pecan.
D.W.: [it's a very boring day at the Read house. Arthur and D.W. are drawing pictures] What did you draw?
Arthur Timothy Read I: A dog, and he's bored. What did you draw?
D.W.: A stick.
Arthur Timothy Read I: A stick?
D.W.: Yeah, a stick...
[shouts]
D.W.: - from the park you promised to take me to today!
D.W.: [Arthur is teaching D.W. the hand signals on a bike] What's this mean?
[makes a funny face and waves her tongue in various directions]
Arthur Timothy Read I: I dunno, what?
D.W.: [Mr. Sipple comes running to Arthur and D.W. only wearing a towel around his waist and carrying a cabbage] Hi, Mr. Sipple. What's this?
Mr. Sipple: What's that? You did this!
[mimics D.W.'s funny face]
Mr. Sipple: Where I come from, doing this while on a bike means "Bring me a cabbage, fast"!
[running off]
Mr. Sipple: I left the tub running, bye!
Binky: [reciting his poem at the poetry reading] People think I can't write a poem, but they are so wrong, I can write a poem. I wrote this one, I wrote this poem, and I gave it the title Binky's poem. So shut up! The end!
Mary Alice Crosswire: That's no a poem. He rhymed "poem" with "poem" four times!
Fern Walters: I liked it! Yay Binky!
Arthur: [DW is running to get into Arthur's tent but Arthur stops her] No, you can't come in.
D.W.: Why?
Arthur: Because
D.W.: Because why?
Arthur: Because because.
D.W.: Because because why?
Arthur: Because because because.
D.W.: Because because because WHY?
Arthur: Because... because... uh... because
[Brain whispers in his ear]
Arthur: Because you'd get scared of the dark!
Emil Nigel Ratburn III: [reading out of a book] And then they came upon a gryffon.
[voice echos]
Emil Nigel Ratburn III: A gryffon, a gryffon, a gryffon...
Alan: She's headed into the next town!
Francine Alice Frensky: [Francine's head pops off in a dream] My, what a lovely day!
Little Boy: [her head lands in his lawn] Wooooow! Mommy! Some kid's head fell in our yard!
Francine Alice Frensky: What a beautiful lawn!
Buster Baxter: To get the kind of attention Muffy gets, I'd have to wear GIRLS clothes. I don't want THAT much attention!
D.W.: [after staying up for the first time on New Years Eve] What a gyp! I'm going to bed.
Arthur: [D.W. is bothering him] D.W., isn't there some dancing vegetable on TV?
Buster Baxter: [reading a book] The sky is blue. The ocean is blue.
[stops, throws book down]
Buster Baxter: I can't do it!
Voice on Commercial: Tina Tina Tiny Tina Tina Tina Tiny Tina Tiny the Talking Tabby.
D.W.: It's not real, it's just an Irving legend.
Vecita: What's that?
D.W.: It's a made up story your Uncle Irving tells you.
Vecita: But I don't have an Uncle Irving.
D.W.: There IS no Uncle Irving, Vecita! He's an Irving legend, too!
Alan: [reading a newspaper article] Hey, they got my name wrong! They called me "The Bran!"
[instead of The Brain, his nickname]
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