Twister (1996)

Really, I'm only giving it a 3 because it keeps you entertained. The acting in this movie is very dry. Bill Paxton has to be the worst actor of his status. He's just not good. Other than the acting, the story was just lame. Not a lot happens. It's kind of a "So What?" film. Like, it ends and you don't care at all about what you just saw. I remember being six or seven when I first saw Twister. I was an easily amused child that took everything for what it was and just enjoyed movies without criticizing them. And I still hated Twister. It's just a bland, overall useless, over-rated film.

I mean, this isn't really helping anyone, since almost everyone has seen it. But in the off-chance that you haven't, avoid it at all costs. Even if you have seen it, still avoid it at all costs. You're at someone's house and they put it in? Leave. Rude? Not at all. It's rude to show bad films to your guests. Your girlfriend like it and owns it? Break up with her. Really, there's no need to ever see this movie. There's certainly no need to see it more than once.

Sometimes I have nightmares that I've died and gone to hell. It's not a pit of fire. Just a small theater with one chair, where I sit while Bill Paxton hosts a marathon of Twister playing over and over again for all eternity with commercial interruptions. And every single time I am forced to laugh at the flying cow joke, lest I be prodded violently by Bill Paxton's pitchfork hair-do.